Why did i fall in love with a musician?

Why did I fall in love with a musician …

Maybe it was the fact that your falsetto whispered to my skin, shivering goosebumps in response

A soulful river of music notes massaged my eardrums into close eyed enjoyment

Befriended with a smile as I floated down the river every time your hands made melodies with your guitar

And when your tunes suddenly gained an underlying theme, my cheeks seemed to continually be rosey at the sound of your musical love notes.

Cause when you fall in love with a soulful musician 90% of their songs are for you or have some relation to you.. so when they decide to break your heart 90% of music becomes painful to you.

So why did I fall in love with a musician..

Not only does this song and that song remind you of a memory, but the instruments you played, the notes your voice carried, and the beats your songs held do too.

Bringing back the simple moments of you relaxingly strumming on your guitar while we sweatpants chilled in your room and the music was like breath just letting us take in the oxygen of our love.. or when I would pretend my hands could magically make a tune on your 6stringed friend n you would just smile or laugh

 Or memories of the “I wrote this for you’s” .. I can still remember the first time you sang to me over the phone when we were miles apart.. or the time you sang in my backyard and it became a free show when the neighbors came out to applaud you.

But the biggest feat would be the fact that you somehow got me to convince myself to sing on your voicemail when you were having a bad day, cause since I never sang for people I knew it’d make you happy ..

Or the time I sang a little Alicia keys in the autumn Memphis air as we sat on the bench at the park because you’re arms surrounded me with comfort and your smile put me at ease letting me somehow find the courage

It brings back the high and lows of our long distance Memphis Cali love, like the way notes lay on a page going up and down through it all 

My email and itunes became my keepsake of your music ideas and things you’ve been working on that often no one else had heard yet, like late night after a long jam session when you were too excited to keep to yourself

And since music was already something I related life too, this is why life became so painful the moment you made music the source of my heartache.

So why… did I fall in love with a musician

Because although our love didn’t have a happy ending.. somehow the music in our story taught me many things. How to love, how to express myself, that sometimes letting your guard down is ok because your honest, open, lyric filled musician heart had a mouth that spilled beautiful words into my soul even when you weren’t singing.. so maybe I fell in love with a musician because it taught me to really feel the music not just hear it.

Now my heart is healed and new music’s been written, but this time by me. Each note a moment in time that I have come to pass by

Composing genres through emotion like jazzy songs of content and happiness, cheesy  songs of infatuation, spiritual songs of healing, deep songs of blues, and songs with rhythm n beats to dance my own understanding of life.

 See I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll always come across pieces of you in music, but I will come across pieces of everyone I encounter in life through different things that spark memories and moment in time.

It’s just that you no longer fill my 25 top played, because I’ve discovered that will continually change and I’ll make all sorts of playlists hoping to constantly grow and experience the songs life sends my way.

Why Does Love Hurt So Good?

(After a writing prompt, having to write about the question received from the hat. I got, "Why does love hurt so good?")

Why does love hurt so good?

Because I know that after every fight will come another mending, adding a stitch to the coat we’re sewing. A coat that will keep us warm during cold times.

Love can also burn us, but a flaming love is better than luke warm compliments and empty embraces.

It hurts because the scratches you gave me in our little cat fight are better than the gashes I would've received walking into a knife fight unarmed trying to learn my lessons without you to protect me.

And that fight may hurt, but fighting w/ you means I trust you so much to be completely comfortable and vulnerable with you. To show you’re worth a fight and not a nonchalant brush off of my shoulder.

Love hurts so good because it’s real and when things are real they hurt, but not as much as fake does.

You see, love hurts so good because deceiving and pretending hurts much worse.  If I’m in love with you at least we’re in it together, fighting for the same cause

I would rather feel pain w/ your love than for my heart to be blindly led by fake until it I can no longer see, hear, feel, smell and taste.

For you see, fake numbs my senses until I’m lost in confusion, but love, love heightens them so I see, hear, feel, smell and taste so much stronger.

Making me more sensitive and in tune, feeling every single little thing into my soul, the good and bad, I feel it all. So Love hurts so good.

And falling for anything hurts, but you’ll never forget when your heart falls because the memories daily pump through your veins

We trudge through each other’s forests of all our complexities, habits, and secrets.

A long tiring journey, but making it through the wilderness together is the best reward. An unexplainable bond only reached through every step we take on this love adventure

It hurts so good because trying to understand the beats of a heart offering unconditional love has to overcome obstacles of fear, because we have no comprehension of forever.

So let me mend, burn, scratch, feel, fight and trudge with you. Let me tip toe in your thoughts,  hop skip and jump in your eyes, let me free fall in your heart, let my hand hug yours like it’s our last goodbye, and let my heart try to understand your offering of forever. Because love just hurts so good.

TATTOO

Another random writing.. and no through this I’m not saying you need a tattoo to be a part of life haha I am just saying that everyone expresses themselves in their own way through their own talents, character, and personality.  

 Each Person is a tattoo on the canvas of life

We all tell our own story, containing meaning behind the details that make us unique

However, there is the potential for regret.

What kind of tattoo will you be?

Will you be a design that makes life proud?

Will your mark be flaunted?

Not to worry, some tattoos take time to develop.

Maybe you're a tattoo that at first glance can be mistaken for a mess.

But after time and extra work you develop into a beautiful masterpiece.

Be unique, a tattoo is like a signature each different, none alike.

Sometimes we get caught up trying to be like someone else, forging their signature.

Don't try to be anything but who you are.

Every tattoo tells it's own story,

You know it best so no one can narrate your story but you.

Some complex and painful

others simple but beautiful.

Most of us are still not finished,

We have quite a few more visits to the shop,

it might be painful but worth it in the end.

However, some are almost finished, just needing one or two touch ups.

Then there are the tattoos that have been finely furnished

and although time has masked them with wrinkles

the story behind them is just as meaningful as the tattoos that are just being penned into existence.

When looking at this canvas, some may be ignorant, only seeing unoriginal tattoos,

you know, the fake press on ones that curtain the real tattoos.

Through the lense of some tattoos are seen as graffiti,

but whether you're one to bring joy through humor, energy through your colors, or perspective through symbolism, all tattoos are a piece of art each with their own exclusive blueprint.

Hopefully the fake ones will someday get it.

Rather than being a cliché picture formed through unoriginal creativity,

they will take on their permanent, raw and real form.

Tattoos might take some digging to reveal their meaning,

while others are simply upfront and straightforward.

But this is what makes life beautiful,

personality through the diversity, beauty through ashes, and clever imagination through individuality.

Each person is a tattoo on the canvas of life, what story does yours tell?