Why did i fall in love with a musician?

Why did I fall in love with a musician …

Maybe it was the fact that your falsetto whispered to my skin, shivering goosebumps in response

A soulful river of music notes massaged my eardrums into close eyed enjoyment

Befriended with a smile as I floated down the river every time your hands made melodies with your guitar

And when your tunes suddenly gained an underlying theme, my cheeks seemed to continually be rosey at the sound of your musical love notes.

Cause when you fall in love with a soulful musician 90% of their songs are for you or have some relation to you.. so when they decide to break your heart 90% of music becomes painful to you.

So why did I fall in love with a musician..

Not only does this song and that song remind you of a memory, but the instruments you played, the notes your voice carried, and the beats your songs held do too.

Bringing back the simple moments of you relaxingly strumming on your guitar while we sweatpants chilled in your room and the music was like breath just letting us take in the oxygen of our love.. or when I would pretend my hands could magically make a tune on your 6stringed friend n you would just smile or laugh

 Or memories of the “I wrote this for you’s” .. I can still remember the first time you sang to me over the phone when we were miles apart.. or the time you sang in my backyard and it became a free show when the neighbors came out to applaud you.

But the biggest feat would be the fact that you somehow got me to convince myself to sing on your voicemail when you were having a bad day, cause since I never sang for people I knew it’d make you happy ..

Or the time I sang a little Alicia keys in the autumn Memphis air as we sat on the bench at the park because you’re arms surrounded me with comfort and your smile put me at ease letting me somehow find the courage

It brings back the high and lows of our long distance Memphis Cali love, like the way notes lay on a page going up and down through it all 

My email and itunes became my keepsake of your music ideas and things you’ve been working on that often no one else had heard yet, like late night after a long jam session when you were too excited to keep to yourself

And since music was already something I related life too, this is why life became so painful the moment you made music the source of my heartache.

So why… did I fall in love with a musician

Because although our love didn’t have a happy ending.. somehow the music in our story taught me many things. How to love, how to express myself, that sometimes letting your guard down is ok because your honest, open, lyric filled musician heart had a mouth that spilled beautiful words into my soul even when you weren’t singing.. so maybe I fell in love with a musician because it taught me to really feel the music not just hear it.

Now my heart is healed and new music’s been written, but this time by me. Each note a moment in time that I have come to pass by

Composing genres through emotion like jazzy songs of content and happiness, cheesy  songs of infatuation, spiritual songs of healing, deep songs of blues, and songs with rhythm n beats to dance my own understanding of life.

 See I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll always come across pieces of you in music, but I will come across pieces of everyone I encounter in life through different things that spark memories and moment in time.

It’s just that you no longer fill my 25 top played, because I’ve discovered that will continually change and I’ll make all sorts of playlists hoping to constantly grow and experience the songs life sends my way.