For A Friend

A piece I had written as encouragement for a friend...

6’1” Shooting Guard on Space Jam Dream Team, from Palo Alto California

Ironic, your name has 3 L’s in it, probably because you Love to Live Life.

So live it. Live it big, make stats that will get you in the Hall of Fame in the book of life.

Keep your viral like smile with mamba scented breath cause your contagious energy spreads to those around you

Keep your head up, cause putting it down should only be a sign for mourning

Focus eyes on the basket to remember where you’re going, but use your peripherals cause they prevent ignorance

 Jersey tucked so they know you’ve got class, and shoes tied to prevent trippin.

Don’t just go through the motions until 4^th quarter.. regrets are for the weak, who don’t want to make the right decision when the pressure comes.

But they do happen, cause we all have our weaknesses, and that’s what teammates are for. Their strength supports your Achilles, so choose wisely who you pick to protect them. 

Cause when lungs are burning, muscles aching and sweats dripping, look in their eyes and you’ll see you’re not alone, like the number on your jersey .. they’ve  got your back

Keep in mind that who you want to be isn’t going to happen without the decisions you’re making now, so make your moves carefully, dribble with purpose cause once the buzzer goes off you can’t change the plays you’ve made.

The time comes when the lights turn off, the fans are gone and the court is empty, so don’t take advantage of the little things because if you learn to notice them, you will always have the sound the net makes with a shot, the squeaks from shoes on the court, the rhythmic bounce of the ball, the shriek a whistle makes, the sound of your coach clapping, and the voices of your teammates.

Until that time, realize a man of character can still be young at heart, not to confuse young with foolish though. Make sure you’re proud of the name on the back of your jersey every time it is announced.

Now here it goes.. lights flashing, heart beating, mind focused, hands in… Go get it.

Why did i fall in love with a musician?

Why did I fall in love with a musician …

Maybe it was the fact that your falsetto whispered to my skin, shivering goosebumps in response

A soulful river of music notes massaged my eardrums into close eyed enjoyment

Befriended with a smile as I floated down the river every time your hands made melodies with your guitar

And when your tunes suddenly gained an underlying theme, my cheeks seemed to continually be rosey at the sound of your musical love notes.

Cause when you fall in love with a soulful musician 90% of their songs are for you or have some relation to you.. so when they decide to break your heart 90% of music becomes painful to you.

So why did I fall in love with a musician..

Not only does this song and that song remind you of a memory, but the instruments you played, the notes your voice carried, and the beats your songs held do too.

Bringing back the simple moments of you relaxingly strumming on your guitar while we sweatpants chilled in your room and the music was like breath just letting us take in the oxygen of our love.. or when I would pretend my hands could magically make a tune on your 6stringed friend n you would just smile or laugh

 Or memories of the “I wrote this for you’s” .. I can still remember the first time you sang to me over the phone when we were miles apart.. or the time you sang in my backyard and it became a free show when the neighbors came out to applaud you.

But the biggest feat would be the fact that you somehow got me to convince myself to sing on your voicemail when you were having a bad day, cause since I never sang for people I knew it’d make you happy ..

Or the time I sang a little Alicia keys in the autumn Memphis air as we sat on the bench at the park because you’re arms surrounded me with comfort and your smile put me at ease letting me somehow find the courage

It brings back the high and lows of our long distance Memphis Cali love, like the way notes lay on a page going up and down through it all 

My email and itunes became my keepsake of your music ideas and things you’ve been working on that often no one else had heard yet, like late night after a long jam session when you were too excited to keep to yourself

And since music was already something I related life too, this is why life became so painful the moment you made music the source of my heartache.

So why… did I fall in love with a musician

Because although our love didn’t have a happy ending.. somehow the music in our story taught me many things. How to love, how to express myself, that sometimes letting your guard down is ok because your honest, open, lyric filled musician heart had a mouth that spilled beautiful words into my soul even when you weren’t singing.. so maybe I fell in love with a musician because it taught me to really feel the music not just hear it.

Now my heart is healed and new music’s been written, but this time by me. Each note a moment in time that I have come to pass by

Composing genres through emotion like jazzy songs of content and happiness, cheesy  songs of infatuation, spiritual songs of healing, deep songs of blues, and songs with rhythm n beats to dance my own understanding of life.

 See I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll always come across pieces of you in music, but I will come across pieces of everyone I encounter in life through different things that spark memories and moment in time.

It’s just that you no longer fill my 25 top played, because I’ve discovered that will continually change and I’ll make all sorts of playlists hoping to constantly grow and experience the songs life sends my way.

Why Does Love Hurt So Good?

(After a writing prompt, having to write about the question received from the hat. I got, "Why does love hurt so good?")

Why does love hurt so good?

Because I know that after every fight will come another mending, adding a stitch to the coat we’re sewing. A coat that will keep us warm during cold times.

Love can also burn us, but a flaming love is better than luke warm compliments and empty embraces.

It hurts because the scratches you gave me in our little cat fight are better than the gashes I would've received walking into a knife fight unarmed trying to learn my lessons without you to protect me.

And that fight may hurt, but fighting w/ you means I trust you so much to be completely comfortable and vulnerable with you. To show you’re worth a fight and not a nonchalant brush off of my shoulder.

Love hurts so good because it’s real and when things are real they hurt, but not as much as fake does.

You see, love hurts so good because deceiving and pretending hurts much worse.  If I’m in love with you at least we’re in it together, fighting for the same cause

I would rather feel pain w/ your love than for my heart to be blindly led by fake until it I can no longer see, hear, feel, smell and taste.

For you see, fake numbs my senses until I’m lost in confusion, but love, love heightens them so I see, hear, feel, smell and taste so much stronger.

Making me more sensitive and in tune, feeling every single little thing into my soul, the good and bad, I feel it all. So Love hurts so good.

And falling for anything hurts, but you’ll never forget when your heart falls because the memories daily pump through your veins

We trudge through each other’s forests of all our complexities, habits, and secrets.

A long tiring journey, but making it through the wilderness together is the best reward. An unexplainable bond only reached through every step we take on this love adventure

It hurts so good because trying to understand the beats of a heart offering unconditional love has to overcome obstacles of fear, because we have no comprehension of forever.

So let me mend, burn, scratch, feel, fight and trudge with you. Let me tip toe in your thoughts,  hop skip and jump in your eyes, let me free fall in your heart, let my hand hug yours like it’s our last goodbye, and let my heart try to understand your offering of forever. Because love just hurts so good.

TATTOO

Another random writing.. and no through this I’m not saying you need a tattoo to be a part of life haha I am just saying that everyone expresses themselves in their own way through their own talents, character, and personality.  

 Each Person is a tattoo on the canvas of life

We all tell our own story, containing meaning behind the details that make us unique

However, there is the potential for regret.

What kind of tattoo will you be?

Will you be a design that makes life proud?

Will your mark be flaunted?

Not to worry, some tattoos take time to develop.

Maybe you're a tattoo that at first glance can be mistaken for a mess.

But after time and extra work you develop into a beautiful masterpiece.

Be unique, a tattoo is like a signature each different, none alike.

Sometimes we get caught up trying to be like someone else, forging their signature.

Don't try to be anything but who you are.

Every tattoo tells it's own story,

You know it best so no one can narrate your story but you.

Some complex and painful

others simple but beautiful.

Most of us are still not finished,

We have quite a few more visits to the shop,

it might be painful but worth it in the end.

However, some are almost finished, just needing one or two touch ups.

Then there are the tattoos that have been finely furnished

and although time has masked them with wrinkles

the story behind them is just as meaningful as the tattoos that are just being penned into existence.

When looking at this canvas, some may be ignorant, only seeing unoriginal tattoos,

you know, the fake press on ones that curtain the real tattoos.

Through the lense of some tattoos are seen as graffiti,

but whether you're one to bring joy through humor, energy through your colors, or perspective through symbolism, all tattoos are a piece of art each with their own exclusive blueprint.

Hopefully the fake ones will someday get it.

Rather than being a cliché picture formed through unoriginal creativity,

they will take on their permanent, raw and real form.

Tattoos might take some digging to reveal their meaning,

while others are simply upfront and straightforward.

But this is what makes life beautiful,

personality through the diversity, beauty through ashes, and clever imagination through individuality.

Each person is a tattoo on the canvas of life, what story does yours tell? 

20/20

Started thinking of this on when i was running today haha  

Why is it that these days men are often seen by women as threatening, users, or weak.. rather than leaders, strong and secure? 

And women are seen as a pleasure fulfillment, lacking self worth and an object or easy.. rather than strong, supportive, and beautiful? 

And that both are seen as deceiving or a temporary escape. 

Love has been misunderstood as predominantly physical and lacking fulfillment, it is much more than that. Love is the forgiveness after a fight, love is understanding no one is perfect, yet love does also not take advantage. Love does not leave like a train hopping from station to station.. it is persistent and constant. 

Love is not a coupon to cash in whenever you feel its a good deal. 

It is the old couple you get jealous of, wondering how they did it and hope to do the same. 

Love is like a marathon, it's hard work and you feel like giving up, it might even bring you to your knees forcing you to crawl back. 

However, beauty is seen and strength is gained during the journey, it is not a sprint.. it takes time. 

Its the comfort you find in the little things, it is standing next to you when it seems like everyone else has turned their backs. 

It is holding onto your hand during the storm. True love never leaves your side... yes, It seems commitment and this true Love have been lost in translation. 

But its so hard to see clearly when the glasses given to us by society are the wrong prescription. 

We find value in these "knock off Louboutins". Always trying to strut the best style and envying when others have the latest version. Wanting to take them off and see the world for what it really is, or even start over with some corrective lasik. 

Why are these glasses so tempting and easy to wear? .. because almost everyone has them. 

We all know these prescriptions are skewing our vision and making the eyes given to us worse, and yet we all still hide behind the security of what we think to be normal. 

Then even when we find the right prescription the sad thing is, we still find ourselves putting on the old knock offs, not realizing how funny we look wearing two different pairs with two different prescriptions. 

Its said that eyes are the windows to one's soul ..no wonder why honesty and real connection are hard to come by. Our eyes cannot share their true worth while trying to focus on fallacies.

L.O.V.E the waiting game

Writing a little note for one of my "lil bros" got me thinking about this so i decided to expand and try to write a little..  

You know those moments of desperation and anxiety we all have when it comes to that loaded 4 lettered word.. L.O.V.E. 

Na I'm not talkin the 1,4,3, lyrical hip hop love, sung with cliché hand gestures.. or that jr. high love filled w/ gel penned notes and movies you couldn’t even drive yourself to. 

I'm talking about love that can’t be defined because it's something so unreal it feels like a dream, but at the same time is the realest thing you've ever experienced. 

Taking you on a roller-coaster of other emotions climaxed with the highs then lows of life that can only be experienced when two hearts mold together as one, and every turn is unexpected with a new lesson or challenge... 

The love that after a crazy ride steady's to a long lasting journey that goes way past those early emotions and easy beginnings. 

The love that lasts through hardships until the hour glass is finished. Not like Hollywood romance like that of an ice cube which only lasts till it's melted then moves onto the next one in the tray. 

See, this love we all long for is like reading a good book, a story so enticing you skip ahead.. then once comforted with the words already penned you go back to finish. 

However, our dilemma is we can't skip ahead in life's chapters then go back once reassured by the words written. You see... when life puts love into your story it often comes unannounced. 

Rarely is there a bold billboard on the side of your road flashing "LOVE UP AHEAD PREPARE TO MERGE" Na.. it's usually more subtle and creeps in almost to the point you don't realize it  until it's right in front of your face. 

But all this waiting like a nervous groom is what makes love the precious ride it is. If your special someone were easy to find, they wouldn't seem as significant and cherished. 

It's like searching for gold, if you were to find it every time you looked, it would lose it's value. Yea it sucks sometimes having to read life one page at a time, but ... patience ... wait ... it will make it all worth it once you find your gold. ;)

Music Notes

Your eyes met mine like the sun meets the horizon, subtle warm and captivating.. time seemed to slow.

Forgetting I was in a room full of people because you had this smile that was our secret, you only shared it with me

I took your breath away but your lungs not noticing they hadn’t been going to the rhythm of inhale and exhale for I was now your oxygen 

You were a smooth singing Memphis boy who had veins consisting of Music notes that flowed with your Jamaican blood and ran through to your guitar tapping hands to strum sweet melodies.

Causing a Kaleidoscope of culture when your heart pieced together with the quiet soul of this Midwest girl who like a rose, was down to earth, never expecting for my sun to be a part of your horizon.

weathering the storms of distance our relationship was like a pair of old chucks.
Each tear and spot telling a story but still holding up and reliable as ever.

You fell hard for me like a four year old without training wheels,
but I was afraid to take my training wheels off.

Afraid to fall because the scrapes and bruises that come with every fall overwhelmed my thoughts, so instead I put on knee pads, a helmet and mouth guard.

It would take a lot for me to take the careless leap of love into complete vulnerability.

But you, the smooth singing Memphis did it, like a thick steel box fronted with a combination I knew with you my heart would be safe..you had gained my trust,

And you did guard my heart, continuing to pen words into our storybook romance.

It was like those CB lyrics were written for us, “I ain't saying that we trying to be grown, I'm just saying that we old enough to know, we got that young love.”

That young love changed like the seasons... our anxious hands would take turns keeping captive the boarding passes that for a short time would be our escape from reality to enter our story book romance.

But then it would end with an "until next time" and whoever’s hands had held the boarding pass captive this time would sit with their vision blurred as salt water waterfalls brimming over the dams caused by their eyelids and they had no appetite for any complimentary pretzels for they were journeying back to reality.

Wedding bells started to sneak up in conversation and softly ring thoughts of future in our ears.

Until the bells began to be drown out... and our storybook seemed to slow down.
Was reality trying to rewrite the music notes of the songs you sang to me? And my schedule erasing the time meant for you?

No it could not be, my heart was in the safe... the only safe I had ever let someone else have the combination too.
But our romance from that of a story book never finished... The black splotches and scribbles, tears and tears are still on the last few pages of the unfinished book, being covered with dust in a safe that is broken.

Smooth singing boy, who once fell hard without your training wheels, you turned your bike around and I began to feel the scrapes and bruises of the fall I was so afraid to take.

 The love that had others jealous had ended... on a day that this little rose would typically be celebrating..

I’d planned to blow out the candles with my wish for their storybook to become reality

But that was unexpectedly replaced with the tears I held in as they played hide and go seek with the truth  

Tears that were once streams of hope and a someday are now flowing of brokenness and confusion.

The smiles and birthday wishes were like a dream as I continued on like a zombie... I wanted to curl up and go into hibernation from the reality that I could once escape with you.

But I could not escape, you took away my escape like an alarm clock interrupts your favorite dream ... I could only face reality with a broken safe and desert of emotions.. dry because they had all been spent.

The soft chime of bells were now a numb droning ring.

You see I was very careful with trusting someone with my heart... like a package you use extra tape on, it was not easy to open.

Innocence, not to be mistaken with ignorance, was my gem,.. 

I just had hope like a child that love can still be how it is meant to be.

My gem is still there, although with a broken safe it has been scuffed with a little carelessness and tainted with a little longing, hoping to find another and start and new chapter.

I have not found them yet, and maybe I get confused sometimes because I see everyone through a lens of hope

The boy from Memphis had gained my trust and got the combination... but now that combination is combined with chains and more than one lock.

Although cliché, yes time has healed

My desert of emotions is now a rainforest, and my safe has been fixed although its difficult to unlock.

I have always seen hope and potential in others, probably to a fault, so optimistic even for the grimiest people.

However, when it comes to myself I am much more protective and hesitant, I sometimes wear the knee pads, mouth guard, and helmet afraid to fall again but am realizing that each scar tells a story, reminding us where we’ve been and the lessons we’ve learned. 

I may be hesitant... but I am just waiting, with an understanding that yes I might get hurt, but life is beautiful and what is beauty without pain.

My trust issues, although stubborn, will fade … I just need someone who will take me by the hand, look me in the eyes and let me know it’s real and they’re not leaving

Real to where it’s not an escape but a constant.

Your music notes still flow past me from time to time, and I am proud to see that you've kept riding your bike towards your dreams.

However, rather than a whole story you are now a mere chapter in my book as I wait for my sun to set on someone else’s horizon.